orange expressions, the first of

Mumbai Calling

2009-07-02T03:27:00.000-07:00

“Is it your first time? Don't worry, I'll help you. Be careful. It might be tough at first, but you'll love it. Oh, it gets sticky and wet. Dress appropriately”

I have been spoken to more about Mumbai than sex, drugs and alcohol (and not the very conveniently left out cigarettes). Instructionally ofcourse, I come from a rather open family where the cringe-induceability of the members are directly proportional to the information shared. Everyone seemed to think Mumbai wasn't my place.

“You're too used to another life honey” Read: You're spoilt and if you carry on like this I'm gonna be broke. Courtesy-the boy.

“People aren't very nice there” Read: You're a pussy. Courtesy-dad

“Wear open shoes! Mosquito repellant! Do you have zyrtec? Paracetamol? I have a fifth cousin in pune, I'll give you their number!” Read: You're doomed, serves you right for taking my lipstick. Courtesy-mom.

“HAHAHAHAHAHA!” Read: I need new friends.

So, armed with encouraging words and for some strange (yet stellar, I'm sure) reason sans raincoat or umberella (my bikery chick jacket looks sort of waterproofy I suppose) I reached. I landed. I held back a cough as they scanned my Swine Flu card (yes I've experienced all the symptoms. But I don't get interesting newsworthy ailments. I get the common cold caused by too much wine by a lake in the rain. I know. I checked. WebMD might as well me my homepage and Boots my living room. I'm allergic to dust though, if you're interested. Dust.)

Everyone I've met in Mumbai asks me the same question, “what do you think?” as though Mumbai was a work of art only the discerning could enjoy. Seeing as this was my second day there and I had only really spent about 12 hours in the city at that point, the bulk of it in a delightfully tantraic lounge bar restaurant type establishment with class and less of the sticky tables and suspect beds and more lovely sushi and retro music and 'domestic' wine to everyone's horror; as well as in one of dad's oldtime friend's apartment. It was in this context that it was decided that I needed to go to a street to shop and get completely ripped off by the locals who would instantly realise that I know as much Hindi as Obama. With less of the whole POTUS thing going on. (being 'Lakshmy' I'm more of the Lotus persuasion. HAHAHAHA!). The only place I could actually remember was Colaba Causeway, maybe because of 26/7 or word of mouth or because Colaba just sounds nice. A few cheap H&M tops later, the likes of which I have never seen back in Notts or London, bags and impulse buys later I began to understand why people go places to shop. There's nothing like being able to convert things back into pounds. A very irate brother of a friend who had only spent a year in the UK seethed, “Just because it's nothing in pounds doesn't mean it's nothing in Rupees!” as we gleefully giggled over how cheap everything was.

Another lovely dinner later heralded my last day in luxury, and despite “You're not staying here? Why not? You should, one of the drivers will take you up and down for work and shopping and everything” I (for some insane and uncharacteristic reason) made my way to the corporate guesthouse near the company I'd be working for. It's no smoking. It's no alcohol. The internet says 100Mbps but it can't possibly be more than 0.5. And mom says hostels are worse. I almost think back longingly to my room during the first week, in (of all halls) Rutland. After a few heavy sighs and temporary euphoria at the fact that the TV has decent English channels I decided to stop feeling like a deprived yet spoilt brat. Five minutes later I went back to being me.

But enough about me (I doubt it). It's humid here. And alive. Inspiring and depressing and frustrating and uplifting all at the same time. Three days here, and although I still haven't made up my mind about this place it's crystalastically easy to see why some people hate Mumbai with every fibre of their being, and some don't ever want to leave.

In retrospect, I think it is.

Work in Progress

2008-05-22T11:54:00.000-07:00

So I did the blog-round. It was meant to kick me back into those happy days of inspiration and awareness and opinions when I'd fill notebook after notebook, napkin after napkin with my words.
It didnt. Sort of.
I realised the reason I dont blog as much as I wish i could, is because I'm too scared of making the blogs uber personal. But then I realised I have my whole life on gaudy display on facebook, so why not?
So, right into it.
Things have changed. Courtesy their various blogs, A's said it, B's said it xyz's said it. So seeing as im a bandwagon climber I'm saying it as well.
I feel like saying something deep, but we all get tired of deep from time to time now, don't we? So, since I'm more known and remembered for my superficiality than my philosophical insights into life, maybe I'll talk about something along those lines. Like Paris Hilton's new show which left me craving the intellectual stimulation of ANTM (America's Next Top Model). Or maybe how I'm really falling for the Cardy Ugg boots, or how I'm STILL in love with the Dior gladiator pumps.
Hang on, maybe I could write an indepth (but not too indepth to preserve the superficiality of this fine writer) article on how cooking isn't that hard really, if you can get bother. Ooh... or I could talk about my holiday in lovely Czech, replete with biodegradable shampoo, cats, organic strawberries and holba.
But the point is, my darling reader if you're still with me, the point is...
ooh... i think i have one - the point is the general randomity that is me... which i translate to my blog. ok, not really. For those who know where I am while I write this blog, my current incoherence should be understandable.
Maybe I'll publish a post on my life right now. Hmm.. sounds self-indulgent enough for my taste...

Say it's Huge

2008-01-10T17:07:00.000-08:00

So. Blogging. How cute. Creative infact. Makes you feel all opinionated, doesn't it.

"I'll leave you to your creative stuff"
"i said 'self' by the way""

"Who wants to do some frottage?"

There's something magical and sacred about the nights we spend in this tiny, green room, 3 laptops whirring away, burgers and general meatiness in the air. This time with cola... the deal was too good.

"Natural birth control" one of the he's says thoughtfully into his wikipediacal screen.

I tell the other he that i like making up words when i blog.

I just learnt that marijuana is birth control. I was then told that it also prevents you from having sex. Such sacred nights we spend in this tiny green room.

There's a song i've never heard before playing on my itunes.

One he jumps onto the chair and glares at the other, "get on with the game"

"I'll leave you alone"says he, and my shoulder is suddenly free.

I wonder how long he'll last before getting scared this time. It seems to be a scary game he's playing.

"I was killed. How nice. This is shit ass scary" the other he says. which is the other he? i know. you can guess if u like.

'Breakaway' by Kelly Clarkson starts playing..... I remember being called Rajasthani at Farewell in the 11th. I'm 18 now, and can buy my ciggs legally. I suddenly feel old and drained if they don't ask me for ID.

I'm talking to her on msn. I miss her, and the chance this winter. I'll make it up alien. 8th was fun, wasn't it?

He starts singing along to 'Goldigger'. I just think he's scared. Maybe i should go hug him.

The other starts singing, "I got weeeeeed"

He's playing F.E.A.R. the other he's wikiing sex and weed i think. My giliker and beckwith's gathering dust. I'm trying to give myself some grounding. Or is it depth? Let me get back to you on that one.

************* a moment frozen***************

Things That Make Me Happy

2007-12-27T09:29:00.000-08:00

1. My hot showers that leave the bathroom all steamed up
2. Citrus zest on desserts
3. Christmas songs, trees and hats
4. Getting advantage points
5. Vanilla and spice scented candles
6. How I Met Your Mother, Foster’s, Scrubs and ANTM
7. Coffee table books
8. Photographs
9. Onesentence and postsecret
10. Cheesecake
11. Being silly and loved for it
12. His t-shirts
13. Fancy dinners with silverware
14. Takeaway on room floors
15. When the dryer works like a charm
16. Almost dark chill afternoons
17. Being more like my mom and dad than I thought I was
18. Cookie dough
19. Making them smile
20. Insanely long walks all over
21. Doing it just because I can
22. Rent’s ‘no day but today’ and Love Actually’s ‘all I want for Christmas’
23. Singing along
24. Old movies
25. Fresh flowers
26. When India wins “with two balls to spare”. Better yet, none
27. Doing things they didn’t think I could
28. Being loved because of me, and not in spite of it
29. Doing
30. Saturday brunches
31. My gorgeously perfect friends
32. The ones that aren’t that perfect either

In loving memory

2007-12-24T15:13:00.001-08:00

In loving memory of two near and dear ones...
firstly of this blog, started with the best of intentions
with enough to say to worthify itself of its existence
yet cruel writers block
that infinitely seemed to stretch
claimed this fair blog
now just a waste of pixels
or whatever it is that it's a waste of. i really have no clue what you call these things.

the next we mourn for
is an aspiring writer
a journalist
yet she's lost her touch
her observance and originality..among much else
she wishes it werent so
but she just cant seem to write like she used to
she's tried
and tried
before taking a break to try some more
yet what's done is done
and she knows how to live with things she doesnt agree with
she's had the practice
maybe she'll change
but not on this christmas day

may their souls rest in peace.

Tomorrow! Tomorrow!

2007-10-21T03:58:00.000-07:00

So, I've seen a Play. In a Theatre.

For those who know me, yes, I was grinning like an idiot for about 2 hours before and after the show, as well as enthusiastically treating (my blog, my words) anyone nearby to my own versions of 'Tomorrow' and 'Hard Knock Life'. Oh, the play we went to see was Annie, playing at the oh-so-posh sounding Royal Theatre, Nottingham.

Annie is one of those timeless classics (yeah it's a cliche...but there's a reason a cliche became a cliche, right?) that doesn't target a particular age group. Hm, scratch that, maybe it does target a particular age group..... that age group just before pessimism, cynicism and realism set in,that childish part of ourselves, and we honestly believe that the orphan will get adopted by billionaire, who marries his charming assistant, and that the tyrannical owner of the orphanage gets the sack and the country gets a fresh new outlook on their economic crisis thanks to an eleven year old girl. And for the duration of the show, I honestly did. With every 'Tomorrow there'll be sun' and 'Betcha they're good' the flickers of hope that died out whenever you scan the headlines would get relit (is that bit of imagery working?) until the joie de vivre could be compared to a veritable inferno.

Hm, I was just wondering, would I have gone to watch Annie were it a brand new release, ie- had I not seen it about a bazillion times before?
I don't think so. Because having seen it so many times, Annie is a sort of a reminder of that time when I could just watch Annie, and go 'down to play' with friends and we'd role play and sing in the car-park, when I honestly did believe it was possible for every single loose end to get tied up, every orphan happy...... had I seen it for the first time last night, I probably would have had to fight down about a million different questions, from Warbucks' millions to Sandy's timely appearances, it wouldn't have been half as believeable, because to me, last night, there was a 'happily ever after'. And that was only possible because it wasnt 17 year old realistic me watching, it was the grinning, giggling, exciteable 7 year old me........

the one that came around 5 years after the last

2007-03-25T00:54:00.000-07:00

You know what i HATE about our generation? We're sooo lazy! We just procrastinate and dwadle and put off..it's disgusting, we are pathetic excuses for human beings......we promise to finish something, we never do, we start blogs never to update them.....and try to get away with that by launching bitter attacks on our generation so that noone comments on how it's been over 4 months since our last post. (did i pull it off?)

Hm, you would think, wouldnt you, that I'd have 4 months worth of fabulous views to share (assuming i ever did share views, leave alone fabulous ones on this blog) but im feeling oddly empty....nope, not looking for love or redemption or a sense of meaning and other rubbish, but empty because i realised i dont have much to say. Annoying, since during the board-time i had quite a bit to say, and wrote out things...lists, cricket hysteria....... but now im drawing a blank. And its annoying me, since i think my blog is the least updated and i was hoping to come back with a bang! hm, can i say that this post is trying to bring out the sheer futileness (did i just make that up?) of an enthusiastic writer (my own meaning applies here) who just cant think of anything to say right now, but rest assured when she's settling down to watch tv, she'll think of something.....but being as lazy as she is, (it's a generation thing) she'll convince herself that it's quite boring actually, and crank up the volume.

So yesterday South Africa's world cup came to an end, a little over month after India's (i just HAD to mention it, come on) and in a very unelegant way....Australia crushed them, teasing a bit with a 6/1....then a 44/2.....before getting bored of toying with them and going in for the kill (although, the proteas did make it to the semi, after last world cup's easily avoidable mistake- for the unitiated, match was cut short and Duckworth-Lewis applied. only Shaun Pollock -the then captain, removed after the match, the end of South Africa's campaign- mistook the figure on the little slip of paper coach handed him to be the number of runs required to win, it was ,ofcourse, the number of runs required to tie. this mistake lost South Africa all mathematical chance of progressing into the quarter finals)....final should be interesting, we all know who we want to win yet I can't help but think they're not going to. It's not anything apart from the fact that Australia is just too damn good......sounds hopeless, but there you go. Sri Lanka is an amazing team, they qualified with style, they play well yet dont have the aura of invincibility that the Australians have, although ive heard some members of our team beg to differ. But still, it's not over yet.....

17 darlings, 17

2006-12-18T11:40:00.000-08:00

so, 17 is just round the corner (no, the other one....u gottit)...shockingly tht stirs up such an amount of emotion i dont think i feel anything at all. infact, as i was sitting in my living room barely an hour ago , in complete darkness save for the suddenly garish lights of the noel conifer, i was so surprised by my complete lack of feeling (bordering on worried) that i probed myself for...something. i felt something stir and immediately latched on to it like some sort of craving addict. (yep, i was that desperate). turns out it was a bit of sadness, depression if u want, tht the year was over. not the year 2006 exactly, but that a year of looking forward to it was over.....fantasisinng abt gifts, lance, dream days. and, yes *blush* a horoscope in some random teen mag i read in jan that 'on the 19th of dec he realises tht he loves u and needs u'. altho the 18th was supposed 'to feel like magic' and it didnt..unless ofcourse we're allowing black magic. and not the glam kind...the yeucchy kind.

but tht made me feel like expressing (again) something ive been expressing for a while now, that the wait is all the fun! new year's, random school events, anniversaries....all tht is so much nicer looking forward to that the actual day, which is the real reason i think ppl are so glum when its over. until ofcourse the next event to plan comes along. which in my case rite now is christmas! i love looking forward to christmas (as some may have inferred from previous posts). kinda sad tht the whole 12 o clock thing is over, seeing as my fone is in absentia i have 2 to make do with ushering in my 17th year on msn....wonder how thatll be!

hm...i had something to say when i clickd the 'create' tab..honestly. but i cant 4 the life of me remember wht it is...had 2 get up in the middle 2 get something from my room. funny how i almost ran out of there, like i didnt want 2 be reminded of myself, instead i chose 2 sit in the psychdelic glow of a plastic christmas tree. odd. oh, and muck about in the balcony, i swear, i knw i live on the 4th floor, but u can smell the shisha from downstairs! oddly romantic. its this weird smell, coupled with a rather strong wind tht made me feel pretty 17. not 2 sure how its different, but im sure it is. somehow.
biggest shock? prob tht some things never change while other beyond belief

Jebel Ali Desalination Plant

2006-12-16T01:03:00.000-08:00

“There it is!”
“That sign says ‘Team Victory’”
“Anyone got anything to eat?”
“Please….Daniel Craig is waaayyyy hotter than Hrithik!”
“Stop singing!”

The day, needless to say, started out normally enough. After an intriguing presentation on desalination, punctuated by ‘Haven’t we done motors in class?’ and yawns, we wended our way to the front office to don hard hats (“blue!”) and pose for a photo (“but I wasn’t ready!!”) we boarded a bus that would take us on a tour of the desalination plant. The ride was scenic enough, what with the endless pipes and stacks and steam billowing out from random bits of ground…..and well, despite the obligatory ‘oohs’, ‘aahs’ and ‘Dissssneyland!’, it just wasn’t well, lively. I remarked to that effect, to which Meenakshi smartly taps the back of Sneha’s hard hat, “Safety First!” she read…..oh, those ominous words!

We disembark pretty close the shoreline, and the fenced off pools, just next to the cemented opening in the ground. About 15 feet below us, in plain view, water was gushing from the mouth of the undersea pipes to the drum screens. Standing hands pinned to our sides on the pretty gusty day, (“that’s why it’s called ‘Flashing!’”) we peered over the ridiculously short 3 and a half feet yellow railings, in pretty pensive moods. Lisha and I despaired over how it was sad none of us had a camera, would have made a nice picture- sigh. Someone asked what exactly was happening and Meenaxi, bless her soul, immediately stepped forward. Her arms moving with dutch like efficiency, she (ever the helpful, thoughtful person) explained the process in simple, lucid terms. We all watched her, with admiration, awe and ofcourse respect as she simplified the entire mechanism of desalination. When…alas! Disaster struck!

Like the one in Da Vinci’s ‘Last Supper’, a hand – dripping with malicious jealousy no doubt -came out of nowhere and pushed kind, unsuspecting Meenaxi over the railing!! The poor thing barely had time to register what was happening when she was flailing, shocked and barely alive in the fast flowing water! Seeing dear Meenaxi helpless was too much for some, as Juhi fainted. Yet, Lisha and Karishma immediately dove in after her. Aided by Anjali’s guiding voice from the ground above, and an impromptu encouraging number from the Studzies, the aquatic trio were able to execute a complicated manoeuvre reminiscent of Baywatch (minus the tans and overdramatic males ofcourse). After a few tense minutes, they were back on dry ground and wrapped in towels and blankets.

Meenaxi, ever the Saint immediately condoned the actions of her almost murderer, with a magnanimous “I bear her no grudge”. What a person!
Such people are very rare. Trust me on this one, Very rare.

PS- Ofcourse this is what really happened, why do you ask?

2006-12-01T10:16:00.002-08:00

because a picture speaks a thousand words

Thin is sooooooo

2006-11-28T03:41:00.000-08:00

Everyone’s on about how models such as Kate Moss, Lily Cole and <> are a terrible influence on insecure, not-overweight-but-not-stick-thin adolescents. Well, maybe they are, but that’s the more blatant type of influence. Sitting in the library today trying to recall everything I swore I studied in Physics, (and failing miserably by the way), I found myself looking at the ‘Junior Fiction’ section. And as I stared at the rows of Fear Streets, Babysitter Clubs, Chalet Schools and other series I’ve never heard of before, I was idly musing on the impact that they had on our lives (I had nothing else to do, physics was but a bitter memory). And I thought of Sweet Valley, Nancy Drew and other books aimed at young girls, ie- the less techie chick-flicks, precursors if you want.

I couldn’t help but remember the long drawn out descriptions of the Wakefield twins in Sweet Valley, how they were the picture of physical beauty, how they (Elizabeth was all ‘good at heart’ and Jessica not so much) always had the PERFECT thing to wear, how they were all thin etcetera etcetera. In Nancy Drew, remember her ‘fat’ friend? (What was her name??) She would obsess over her weight, and even though Nancy (who was naturally thin, ofcourse) would laugh her off, it was still there for all to see. The boys in the books always fell for the thin, pretty ones; the heroines were always pinup worthy. And while they never screamed it out, (“Thin is IN! Thin is IN!”) On some level isn’t that imbibed? School stories like the Twins at St. Clare’s and other Enid Blytons sold the idea that physical beauty was determined by a smile and by cheeks that were pink from the cold, and hair that was shiny not from Elvive but eating healthy. But while that does affect people, for every book on ‘natural’ and ‘inner’ beauty, there’s a Clueless inspired book (the Clueless books themselves! And yes, I do know it’s a series. Don’t ask) on oh so perfect teenagers, permanently glossed, straightened, and a size 4.

And while everyone knows this, that the youth is impressionable, anorexia and crash dieting are already integral parts of today’s vocab yada yada, what fascinated me most of all(apart from my complete lack of knowledge in Section C), was (is?) the hypocrisy and acceptance surrounding these things, yes on my part as well =P

So yes, we are all APPALLED by this, by the websites forcing people to crash diet (yep, they do exist). But, we accept it. After all, if it doesn’t affect us, why should it matter

PS- yes, i do write whtver comes 2 mind avec little regard for whether it is going anywhere! (like my physics paper, which didnt. as i may have mentioned)

Some more Noel goodness

2006-11-24T04:23:00.000-08:00

But Noel isnt all hues of green and red. It isnt all pressies, food, being surrounded by friends and having that proverbial 'someone'. As magical and 'young' as Noel is, it isnt.

There are people who won't be receiving so much as a 'Merry Christmas' for whatever reason, their own fault or not.
Christmas is as much about the giving as it is about the receiving, and a lot of people are not able to do the latter- they simply can't afford to. And while i'm a staunch believer in the feeling bit of Noel (im a hopeless romantic btw, ) it is disheartening to know that the mere concept of not being able to afford Noel exists.

Another thing that disheartenns at Noel is people. Yup, sometimes just that one person. The season can make you say things you feel, things youve been hiding quite well, but all the talk of love and blah made you open your mouth. Before you know it, youre identifying with the Noel anthem of unrequited love and infidelity: Last Christmas, i gave you my heart. But the very next day...

But that doesnt mean you shouldn't say anything. Noel's a wonderful opportunity, grab it. I say this a lot, but don't wake up with 'What ifs' going through your head, just do it!! Throw caution to the winds the past and convention to the dogs and go for it! This will probably bite me later on, but I'll never regret saying it. In the world today, i dont think a bit of love, platonic and otherwise, is a bad thing to encourage!

Sometimes Noel dredges up memories that hurt when you look around today. Or not. It could make you happy rather than suicidal. Or make u think Black (thanks, The One!) rather than red and green. Low cal bars rather than plum cake. But it doesnt matter. Because Christmas goes beyond a day. why this post is sooooo november is because Christmas is winter and especially December, but more importantly, it's a state of mind.

Christmas to-do

2006-11-24T03:54:00.000-08:00

Winter means Christmas. Christmas means a million and one things to do. a million and one FUN things to do, so since we're only a week away from December we better start the planning! coz the longer we plan, the more fun we can have...right?

1. Deck the halls, the corridors, the rooms, the gardens, the anything standing still long enough.

2. Retrieve Santa's (no, the other one. ho ho ho nd all........) hat from the annals of cupboard, or wherever it was flung last year in a fit of post-Christmas depression.

3. Make sure you have atleast one red and/or green outfit. Try it on. If it doesnt fit, quit whining and swearing to drop a size by the 25th. after all, it has been a year since ur last festive burst! so get to the shops and find something nice.
If it does fit, then how nice for you Victoria.

4. Get the Noel music out from under that Ashlee Simpson CD you don't own. Or if it's too far gone burrrnnn!

5. Brush up on your lyrics. There's nothing more irritating carol-wise than being unable to sing '12 Days of Christmas' because you dont know the words.

6. Look up the names of all of Santa's reindeer. You know you have this conversation every year, and always mess up. ("No wait, we said Prancer")

7. Plan a Noel movie marathon, a cider fuelled outdoorsy event, a cake making afternoon and unplanned, completely spontaneous, devil-may-care Carolling!

8. Get your Noel cards in order. Remember Everyone! come on, it's Christmas.

9. Make the perfect batch of cookies.
9 a. Redefine 'Perfect'.

10. Do up that TREE! (dont forget the candy canes)

11. Dream up the most perfect pressies! (for others as well Ms. Hilton)

12. Do something nice for someone. You know what I mean.

13. Jingle all the Way. All the freaking Way.

And the Christmas Not-to-do:

1. Don't be a Scrooge.

2. Don't Shout, pout or cry.

3. Don't glare at people singing out loud. It's Noel, hence its part of culture.

4. Don't get put off by the inevitable spate on how commercial and materialistic Noel has become. You know you still love it. You know you still feel it, so go on and Let It Show!

Stop IT!

2006-11-23T13:20:00.000-08:00

These ads have been appearing on Star World for a while now, and it's sick that there has to spread awareness to this effect. It barely takes a minute to go to the site and light your candle, so do it if u have something even resembling a conscience or a heart.

http://www.lightamillioncandles.com

No child deserves this. It's just wrong. And we can stop it.

Thanksgiving...but dont let that put u off!!

2006-11-23T11:59:00.000-08:00

Today being the USA's Thanksgiving, I've decided to be oh-so original and write something thanking someone.

We all have peoplewe have to, or just want to thank-friends, family etc-but they'll eventually get their due. I'm pretty sure most (if not all) of us have thanked someone in our lives and really meant it, I knw I have. But whom i really want to thank (and it's been on my mind since yesterday) is someone who i have never met, and never will. Someone who has done something for me, and has no idea that he or she did. Yes, i don't even know if it's a he or a she, young or old or.... But still, I feel that my someone hasn't been properly thanked, so I'm doing it now. I feel it unimportant that my someone probably had no idea that he/she was doing something for me, it's the principle of the thing.

This is for that goat whose spinal cord we examined yesterday. Armed with a needle and forceps, teasing the cord from a mass of tissue made me feel surprisingly small. I mean, there i was with all the abilities and amenities i need, when somewhere a living creature was dead so we could casually play scientist with its central nervous system. I deplored our entire bio class just then. Who were we to do nothing more challenging and worthwhile with the cord than spread it on a slide? Didnt that goat deserve something better to be done with one of its vital organs? Not only did we domesticate it, remove all its freedom and effectively its right to life, but we insult it by........eugh, i cant even say it again.

so to that goat with its own life, given up for 5 marks and god knows what else- Thank You.

PS- this may come across as tres OTT and ranting for the sake of, but the emotion i felt for that goat was so sincere- you will experience/have experienced it, think 'if'?.

Much Too Old

2006-11-07T02:07:00.000-08:00

Anyone else feel we're too old? i dont mean the standard, 'you're too old to be doing that, so put that spraypaint away' old, i mean the 'oh dear, i have this and that and this too do, then i have to have this before 3 then....'old. The 'we have as many things to do as dad and are getting way too stressed to do things' old. Don't get me wrong, we have fun, no doubt about it. But at times i suddenly stop feeling 'young and sweet, only 17!(16)' and like an old woman whose had her run. sort of 'when will it all stop?' when it hasn't even begun, which is irritating in its own way.

Sometimes, I miss the problems I once considered Huge, and would gladly trade them in for what i'm going through now. know what i mean? It's like we're being tossed around by life, and someone up there's mocking us for complaining about our problems, by throwing us a whole new set of them, to make the old ones pale in comparison. I guess it's a part of growing up, but it's all so, well...bang! One year the only thing i'd have to worry about in the airport was not being able to find a good magazine at the duty free. Next year, a child 7 years younger than me is counting on me to keep him safe as we both travel alone to india- i would gladly sacrifice reading if it meant he wouldn't get an asthama attack, wouldn't get lost, kidnapped, abducted, anything. It's like being converted into a temporary mother, you suddenly dont exist, all you care about is making sure your child is fine. And at 14, you don't want to spend youre precious pre-flight time watching tv in the lounge because the child doesn't want to come to the duty free. I felt old, very tied down.
But thinking of what i said earlier about how our new problems are the suns rays to our old problems' ants. Sometimes our new problems are the same, technically, just on a different level. For example, having a crush on someone. Before it was a playful thing, and you could get over it. then suddenly you meet Someone and youre completely unprepared for the rush of emotions that have suddenly taken you over. It goes much deeper than your previous notion of 'like' and you can't do anything but wonder how things got this far. and you never really get over that (it becomes a problem, it was so minute before). or it's like this current time when Universities have to be applied to, final marks have to be simply fab thus entailing endless amounts of studying, not to mention assorted tests, being worried about submitting homework (remember homework?) on time is laughable compared to this Application Frenzy.
I also get this terrible feeling that i'm too old when i see lists regarding what i have to do. i suppose it should make me feel organised, but lists (this sort) has always seemed to be an 'old person' thing. we're not meant to have so many things to do that we need lists! we're not meant to have so many medicines for various ailments that are suddenly turning up. most under 20s i know are popping more pills than my grandad, the grandaddy of all meds. true, we are living in a different, more dangerous, faster paced time as opposed to the pollution freer times our parents lived in.....but does that mean we become their 40 yr old selves aged 16? do we need to take, to be told to take vitamins at specific intervals ( as determined by the lists) when we could just eat our greens rather than skip a meal to go for tuitions, or an enforced relaxing session or..........(n/a to nicole richie followers). i dont think so. neither do i think that this is what they mean by, 'youth is wasted on the young/comes and goes too soon'
as per natural progression, u look around you at all the things you'll be leaving behind in less than a year, and this wave of nostalgia englufs you, and you feel so incredibly old, but so unprepared. you dont have the answers to everything you thought you would. not even a quarter of everything. overwhelmed.
almost as if the 4 Non- Blondes was singing 'What's Up?' about you?

Then that 16 year old in me, so far supressed by the current mood, fights its way through, and yells, ' stop whining about yourself!! get off the comp, open ur bio book' (ok, bit of self gratification there, it's actually telling me to get off the comp, go 2 my room and dance to my mp3.....since i wldn't want to wake anyone up....hush you!)

The Studzies

2006-11-06T13:43:00.000-08:00

The Latest Musical Sensation to Hit the Nation

If you haven't already heard of them, chances are you soon will. Made up of two..............studious friends, Charolene 'Charlie' Aranha and Linda 'Lindze' Abraham, this new band is a musical force that is definitely here to stir things up. Their music is refreshingly original; a unique blend of classical Pop and Hip-Hop, tinged with Rap, Opera and Soul. However, what sets them apart from the chaff is the pure simplicity of their music- they are unencumbered by any musical instrument, relying solely on talent. They may have just carved out a whole new genre.

From their humble beginnings of crooning over their telephones, much to Lindze's twin sister's less than delight, Studzies has surely grown. They recently performed their mind-blowing debut single, 'Distracted' in the the newly expanded Shoebox (to a full house), to cries of 'Encore'. Lindze's sister Lisha was in the audience, but was too teared up (either because of the emotional, hard hitting lyrics or................) to comment.

However, despite their success, the girls know where their priorities lie. "My studies come first" says Lindze solemnly. But does that mean that they'll be content with the title of 'One Hit Wonders'? heavens, no. "Once our exams are over, we'll be heading back to the bedrooms, for telephonic sessions" promises Charlie. And we can't wait and seek.

--The Studzies' debut single, 'Distracted (d'dee dee dee) hits stores this november--

Random List of School Related Things

2006-11-04T02:33:00.000-08:00

As the not-so-subtle title may suggest, this is a completely random list of things, ill probably miss when i leave school, ill remember fondly, or ill...well.....not too sure. this is after all a completely random list. not one for introductions at the mo, so here's the...what else? the list!

1. Waking up early to watch a cricket match. Then going to school and chatting more about the waking up bit than the actual match.

2. Extra-prep session discussions. Then realising with wonder that we spent 3/4 of our time laughing, and then laughing all over again. you people know what i'm talking about.

3. Starting out in the chem lab with highly studiously scholastic intentions, then towards the end randomly throwing things into test-tubes and beakers, hoping for a colour change. Oh, and keeping a straight face through at all...not to mention the joy when we actually do get a test right.

4. Perrenial talk of going to Mall on Chem exam day ('We'd Probably score more!')

5. Acceptance of the fact that one pizza and one Melco juice can last our science lot.

6. Continued odd delight at the fact that out of 14 people, it isn't unusual if only one of us (if at all) have a Math text book. Further amusement the next day when we all have our books, since Sir threatened to make all those who 'forgot' do 20 sums as homework.

7. Finding atleast one person from class in the clinic during 5th subject and/or English Language.

8. Taking the long routes to places to avoid bumping into certain people.

9. Taking the long routes to places in order to bump into certain people.

10. Horror at the fact that the windows in our class are VERY two-way, and we rarely draw the blinds.

11. Going through various literary phases- aided ofcoursde by the school library. Embarassment when taking books, contributing to each phase, outside the confines of our class.

12. Holding and swinging hands in the corridor as a mean of cheering up.

13. Never having to use the handle when opening our class door, just pushing our way in.

14. Singing along to someone's playing on the piano during assorted breaks.

15. Jogging around the field for no apparent reason. Then jogging in the direction just to see.

16. The way our desks have been converted into lockers, to save us the trip.

17. Realising that we know Julius Caesar like the back of our hands and Richard, not so much- "So is that banished guy back? dead? when? are u sure?"

18. Colouring in diagrams and writing with coloured pens, everyone's got their favourites.

19. Finding out that someone else watches the same lame show, listens to the same lame music or has played/ plays the smae lame games as you.

20. Skipping a class and keeping an eye on the clock so as to determine when it's safe to resurface. Then completely forgetting ourselves and missing much more than we intended.

21. Sentences that begin with, 'Remember when my......'

First Session Talks

2006-11-01T07:52:00.000-08:00

You know what i'm talking about. the 'Talks'. the 'of life'. the frankness and the openess, the innocence and the not-so-much innocence. the stuff and the more stuff. boy, we have come a long way conversation-wise! damn...i thought this would be easy to write about (no thanks to u lisha and charlie!) but, its actually not. i mean, what DO i mention? the topics, yeah rite! (btw, the video i took is not going to be up anytime soon, so if anyone wants it do ask!) although, the manner in which we were going about our discussion did suggest that there was/is nothing to be embarassed of...id rather not go into the details of ****** and the ******* and why ******* and ******* have ******** and if its half as good as *********. suggestive? i dont know what's going through your mind. actually, not too sure what was going through our heads at the time....lol. sorry, cant stop laughing whilst shaking head.....=D
for further info do visit ************. or call ************ on *********** after 11.

Obligatory (aka, 'My first Blog')

2006-10-26T09:14:00.000-07:00

this is the obligatory, 'hi! im here 2' post. for some reason (!) the whole 'blogosphere' withing our school seemd limitd 2 anish's simply brill blog, (id give the link but every1 knws it anyways!) tejas' and ashiq's. which were the only ones ive ever checkd out b4. now suddenly having one seems to be something we all have, and its oddly daunting. Especially since ur thinking of something fascinating to write about (nd having above mentioned people as establishd bloggers doesn't help too much either!). But, it doesn't really matter! since this is my space, to truly prove how little there is too me! so on that self indulgent note, thus ends my first post. And maybe my last. I dont know.
LINDA LINDA LINDA LINDA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mine!

2006-10-26T09:10:00.000-07:00

Mine!